Valentines Day is all about spreading love. Whether you have a partner or not, you can celebrate this romantic day having fun. One of the best ways to celebrate Valentines Day is by sharing jokes that will make everyones stomach hurt with laughter. Host a Valentines Day-themed party, arrange some exciting games, and share these uproarious one-liners and hilarious jokes with everyone.
To jazz up your party night, we have gathered some funny jokes for kids, some witty jokes for couples, and some super sarcastic jokes for all the single people in the house. Check them out!
21 Valentines Day Jokes For Kids
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1. This Little Pun
Q: What do you call a very small Valentine?
A: A Valen-tiny.
2. This Truthful Pun
I gave blood today.
It may not be the best Valentines Day present, but at least it came from the heart.
3. And This Thoughtful Pun
Q: What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
A: I find you very attractive
4. You Want To Keep Laughing At This
Q: How did the phone propose?
A: He gave her a ring.
5. A Killer One
Q: What kind of Valentines Day candy is never on time?
A: Choco-late.
6. Animal Love
Q: What do owls say to declare their love?
A: Owl be yours!
7. This Ultimate Truth
Q: Whats the best part about Valentines Day?
A: The day after, when all the candy is on sale.
8. This Berry Funny Joke
Q: What did one berry say to the other berry on Valentines Day?
A: I love you berry much
9. This One About Bunny Love
Q: What did the rabbit say to his girlfriend on Valentines Day?
A: Somebunny loves you!
10. A Precious Knock-Knock One
Knock, knock.
Whos there?
Emma.
Emma who?
Emma hoping I get lots of cards on Valentines Day!
11. And Heres Some More
Knock, knock
Whos there?
Luke
Luke who?
Luke who got a Valentine!
12. This Ghostly Proposal
Q: What do ghosts say to one another to show that they care?
A: I love BOO!
13. And This Gem
Q: Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
A: No, they had an apple!
14. We Cant Espresso How Funny This Is
Q: Whats the perfect thing to say to a coffee-lover on Valentines Day?
A: Words cannot espresso what you mean to me.
15. This Cute One
Q: Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
A: Because he wanted to have sweet dreams.
16. This Bee Love
Q: What did the girl bee say to the boy bee on Valentines Day?
A: I love bee-ing with you, honey!
17. This Masterpiece
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand
18. Heress A Classic One
Q: What did the boy bear say to the girl bear on Valentines Day?
A: I love you bear-y much!
19. This egg-cited egg
Knock, knock.
Whos there?
Egg!
Egg who?
Egg-cited to be your Valentine!
20. This Epic One
Q: How can you tell the calendar is popular?
A: It has lots of dates.
21. This Criminal Offence
Q: Why did the man have his girlfriend put in jail?
A: Because she stole his heart.
20 Valentines Day Jokes for Adults
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1. This Husband Whos In Trouble
If theres one thing I hate about Valentines Dayits my wife.
2. This Classic One
Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?
A: You turn me on.
3. Youll Keep Laughing
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. Their wedding ceremony wasnt fancy.
The reception, however, was excellent.
4. Poor Man
Boyfriend: Honey, on this Valentines Day, I want to tell you something Im not rich like Jack, I dont have a mansion like Russell or a Porsche like Martin. But, I do love you and want to marry you.
Girlfriend: Oh, dear I love you too But, what was that you said about Martin?
5. This Funny Excuse
If I could, I would wrap up all my love for you and put it in a gift box. But, they dont make boxes large enough!
6. This Romantic Pun
To my beloved husband. You are the pot of gold at the end of my rainbow. And you dont disappear when I get close to you!
7. This Rhyming Warning
Roses are red,
The grass is green,
Take me to Valentines dinner,
Or Ill make a scene!
8. This Hilarious Exhibition Of Love
You are my sweet Valentine. I like you like a fat kid likes cake.
9. And Another One
Love is like peeing your pants everyone can see it but only you can feel it. Thanks for being the pee in my pants
10. This Sweet Caution
You plan more for Valentines Day than Russia prepared for the Olympics.
11. This Poor Man
If my girlfriend doesnt behave nicely to me this Valentines Day, Im totally going to show my rage and be in this shitty relationship for 2 more years.
12. This Romantic Proposal
Boyfriend: What did one flame say to the other on Valentines Day?
Girlfriend: Tell me.
Boyfriend: Were a perfect match.
13. These Expectations
I just got a text from my girlfriend that said, I bought you an awesome Valentines Day gift! xox
I really hope she spelled Xbox wrong.
14. This Daring Man
My wife rang me at work on Valentines Day.
She said, Three of the girls in the office have just received bunches of flowers. Theyre absolutely gorgeous.
I said, Thats probably why theyve been sent flowers then.
15. Whenever You Realize
Last Valentines Day, my fiance of four years bought me a lottery ticket and I won $5 million.
I wonder what shes doing nowadays
16. Men Will Be Men
Ive just booked a table for my girlfriend and me on Valentines Day.
I hope she knows how to play snooker.
17. This Ignorant Being
For the last twenty years, Ive received a Valentines Day card from the same secret admirer.
So, I was upset when I didnt get one this year.
First my granny dies, now this?
18. This Confusion
My girlfriend told me she hoped I had something special planned for Valentines Day.
I said, Im working on it. She smiled.
Which was weird because I thought shed be upset that I have go to work on Valentines Day.
19. This Sassy One
This year, Ive gotten my wife a Valentines Day present that will really take her breath away.
A treadmill.
20. This Remarkable Pun
I think Cupid must need glasses. The last time I dated a girl, he missed my heart but hit my wallet.
20 Valentines Day Jokes For Singles
1. This Sad Truth
Q: What is the difference between a calendar and you?
A: A calendar has a date on Valentines Day.
2. This Person Who Embraced Self-Love On Valentines Day
I cant wait for Valentines Day because I get to make cupcakes for a special someone. That special someone is me.
3. This Is A Killer
If youre sad about being alone on Valentines Day, just remember Nobody loves you on any other day either.
4. And Another One
Tomorrow is Valentines Day. Dont worry if youre single. Youre going to die alone anyway!
5. When You Learn Things
On your first date with a guy, dont give him a list of mistakes made by your previous boyfriends to take home and study.
6. This Ultimate Truth
That tingly feeling you get when you meet someone youre really attracted to?
Thats common sense leaving your body.
7. This Will Keep You Laughing
What I say out loud: I dont need any man in my life this Valentines Day. Men aint shit!
What I say on the inside: What demons do I need to summon to get a guy talk to me?
8. This Unique Perspective
Q: What do single people call Valentines Day?
A: Happy Independence Day!
9. This Realization
8 planets, 204 countries, 809 islands, 7 seas, 6,000,000,000+ people AND I AM STILL SINGLE.
10. This Declaration
I am not scared of getting dumped on Valentines Daybecause I dont have a girlfriend.
11. The Perfect Valentines Day Celebration
I am going to spend my Valentines Day with my exbox 360.
12. This Truly Helps
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Vodka costs less,
Than a dinner for two.
13. This Heart-Breaking Pun
Cant wait to receive nothing on Valentines Day!
14. When You Are Strictly Not In Love
Couples on Valentines Day: Love is in the air.
Me: No. Oxygen, carbon dioxide, and nitrogen are in the air.
15. When You Hate Valentines Day
Keep calm and SCREW Valentines Daybecause Im single
16. And When You Hate It Even More
Can we rename Valentines Day as Singles Awareness Day? Because youre never more aware of the fact that you are single than this time of the year!
17. When Youre Really Not Into Valentines Day
I dont need a Valentine.
I need a billion dollars and fast metabolism.
18. This Single Birdie Pun
All the single birds flew away
Because they think that on Valentines Day, love is in the air!
19. This Smart Insult
You: Siri, why am I single?
Siri: *activates front camera*
20. Every Singles Favorite
Do I have a date for Valentine s Day?
Yes, February 14th.
Laugh your heart out with these hilarious Valentines Day jokes. Send them to your loved ones and make this Valentines Day amusing for everyone! Leave your personal favorite Valentines Day jokes in the comments section below.
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