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What will your dating life look like in the second half of 2021?
As worldwide restrictions started to ease, news outlets declared that the post-lockdown world would likely give birth to a “new Roaring ‘20s”—a bacchanalian frenzy the likes of which our generation has never seen.
While it’s true that some will embrace this openness with abandon, new studies are revealing something unexpected: many people are interested in finding a serious relationship as a result of the pandemic, because this past year has made them aware of the traits they value most in a partner.
This particular moment is critical, because many people are likely to “panic buy” their way into a relationship—throwing themselves into the first nice person they meet as soon as the “gates open.”
Thankfully, there’s a simple step you can take before a first date that will ensure you’re meeting people who are a better fit.
In this week’s video, you’ll learn how to find a committed partner who will be excited to redefine the “new Roaring ‘20s” with you (whether or not they can dance the Charleston).
Here for you,
Matthew x
P.S. Which trait is #1 on your list? I’ll be reading the comments and would love to know yours!
Transcript provided by YouTube:
00:00
what does post pandemic dating
00:03
look like for you let’s take a look at
00:05
what some of the news is saying
00:08
a year of lockdown forced many of us to
00:10
rearrange our priorities and for many
00:12
what we really want in our love lives
00:13
according to a new survey by kinsey
00:15
institute the year of covid set up our
00:17
society for a post-pandemic
00:19
change in dating norms for singles the
00:21
overwhelming majority surveyed
00:23
say they’re more focused on finding a
00:25
serious relationship as a result of the
00:27
pandemic
00:27
so according to this study the
00:29
priorities of what is important to us
00:31
have
00:31
shifted do you know what was important
00:33
to us a year ago
00:35
toilet paper steve obvious oh yes sir
00:38
very important 44 say commitment is more
00:42
important than before
00:43
64 less interested in dating more than
00:45
one person at a time
00:46
is that true for you have you felt that
00:49
since the pandemic
00:51
dating seriously has become more
00:54
important to you
00:55
this accords with an article i read in
00:57
the guardian
00:58
whereby the ceo of hinge justin
01:02
mccleod macleod i think i’m saying that
01:05
wrong
01:06
was interviewed uh he said uh
01:09
for single people who have missed out on
01:11
a year of opportunities to find a
01:12
partner
01:13
the priority around finding a
01:15
relationship has increased
01:17
and while many have thought that wild
01:19
decadence would be the reaction to
01:20
coming out of lockdown
01:22
he thinks people are looking for
01:24
something more serious
01:25
that is what we are hearing people are
01:27
being a little more intentional
01:29
about what they’re looking for coming
01:31
out of this 70
01:32
plan to now video chat before committing
01:35
to scheduling a date
01:36
i was steve i was pushing for stuff like
01:39
this before the pandemic
01:41
jameson can you be bothered to find a
01:43
clip of me
01:45
referencing how important it is to have
01:47
a phone call before a date
01:49
text can only do so much so phone calls
01:53
are important i want to argue for the
01:54
phone call right now you should try and
01:56
avoid where possible going on a date
01:57
with someone that you haven’t had a
01:58
phone call with
01:59
let’s facetime for a couple of minutes
02:00
or whatever get on the phone with them
02:01
just just call them because
02:03
that can save you an entire evening by
02:05
the way i think facetime’s great
02:07
because when you can actually see
02:08
someone on a screen it’s the next best
02:10
thing to a date right we see body
02:12
language we see facial expressions
02:14
it’s real connection but i’m on my way
02:17
home now
02:17
what are you up to how’s your night a
02:20
voice
02:22
on the telephone
02:26
i’ve been pushing for this because i
02:27
really believe that we should
02:29
before investing an entire evening in
02:31
someone maybe see if we have any
02:33
chemistry
02:33
any compatibility via video or phone so
02:37
as not to waste a lot of time
02:38
and 65 plan on prioritizing finding a
02:41
deep connection rather than a hookup
02:43
this is interesting because it’s in
02:45
stark contrast to that idea that i’ve
02:47
heard about many times from people close
02:49
to me
02:50
it’s going to be the roaring 20s when we
02:52
come out of this you just wait it’s
02:54
going to be
02:55
a bacchanalian frenzy of
02:58
sex and partying and well steve you know
03:02
why don’t you say it like that and i
03:05
suppose
03:05
some of that relates to age group right
03:08
there will be
03:09
people who are in a stage of their life
03:11
where they feel like they’ve been denied
03:14
this
03:14
exciting youthful party stage of their
03:17
life that will
03:18
go out and you know
03:21
do the biz with lots of different people
03:26
but there will be others i think in a
03:27
different age group who look at this and
03:29
go
03:30
oh that was what it was like to go
03:32
through a difficult time
03:34
without somebody but here’s what’s
03:37
interesting
03:38
on the other hand you had divorces which
03:40
rose rapidly in the early days of the
03:41
pandemic and have since slowed down over
03:43
recent months
03:44
wendy strugar says those getting
03:46
divorced at the time were couples
03:48
already in troubled relationships and
03:50
when they were forced to spend more time
03:51
at home together and interact more often
03:53
she says suddenly there was no escape
03:55
and they wanted out of the relationship
03:58
this in some ways is a sort of
04:00
interesting
04:02
uh juxtaposition isn’t it the idea that
04:06
you’ve got lots of people coming out of
04:07
the pandemic saying
04:09
i want a more serious relationship now
04:11
this has made me realize that i need
04:13
depth in my life i need structure i need
04:16
someone to be a teammate with me when
04:18
the chips are down when the storm comes
04:22
and yet we’ve just come out of a period
04:24
of lots of people leaving serious
04:26
relationships precipitated by
04:28
the proximity that people have had to
04:30
one another
04:32
the forced proximity i should say during
04:35
the pandemic there is an easy line to
04:37
take which is that the pandemic
04:39
exposed weak relationships and i think
04:42
that’s true for an enormous number of
04:44
relationships but i also think that we
04:45
have to remember the pandemic forced
04:47
a situation that no one would argue
04:51
is healthy for a relationship it forced
04:54
an artificial
04:56
level of proximity that no one would
04:58
design
04:59
in a relationship that we would say is a
05:01
healthy one
05:03
we talk about spending time with your
05:04
own friends or
05:06
getting out of the house having your own
05:08
lives not spending every minute of the
05:10
day together so of course what will
05:11
happen if you force two people into
05:13
doing that
05:14
there will inevitably be some
05:15
relationships that succumb
05:17
to the pressures of that but
05:21
i do think there are a lot of
05:22
relationships during the pandemic
05:24
that made people realize that they were
05:25
more in love with their partner’s
05:27
absence than their presence in other
05:29
words for a long time the relationship
05:31
had survived on the idea that
05:33
this is my boyfriend this is my
05:35
girlfriend here’s who he is
05:37
here’s who she is and as soon as the two
05:40
people
05:40
were forced into a situation where they
05:43
were confronted with with each other’s
05:45
presence
05:45
they got to know who that person is
05:47
today they got to know
05:49
what it’s like to actually have to
05:50
really cooperate with that person under
05:53
immense pressure immense stress
05:55
what it’s like to be a team with that
05:56
person to
05:58
figure out and cooperate with boundaries
06:00
in an environment that is
06:02
inherently difficult so i do think that
06:04
made a lot of people realize
06:06
oh wow this isn’t the teammate i need or
06:09
can stand over a long period of time and
06:12
it made people wake up to that sooner
06:14
than they otherwise would have realized
06:16
i also think that whilst there are
06:17
plenty of relationships
06:19
that buckled under the pressure of the
06:21
pandemic
06:22
there will be a lot of relationships
06:23
that began in the pandemic
06:25
that buckle under the freedoms of normal
06:28
life afterwards
06:29
there will be relationships that worked
06:31
when two people were
06:33
confined to their own bubble their own
06:35
world
06:36
and it was felt like a sort of cozy
06:39
space
06:39
unthreatened by everyday life and then
06:42
when life opens back up
06:44
and they’re faced with all of the normal
06:46
challenges of a relationship
06:48
of being out amongst other people the
06:49
opportunities
06:51
uh the shiny things then
06:54
some of those won’t last what comes out
06:56
of this for me
06:57
are two really important lessons
07:01
one the right relationship
07:04
should be robust enough to handle
07:07
a change in seasons you can’t have a
07:10
relationship
07:11
that only works when everything’s going
07:13
well when both people are healthy when
07:16
everyone’s happy when there are no
07:17
existential challenges
07:19
you want to be in the kind of
07:20
relationship that isn’t constantly
07:22
threatened
07:23
by a change in circumstances and the
07:26
second big
07:26
conclusion it takes me to is if a lot of
07:29
people are looking for something more
07:31
serious now
07:32
there may be the danger of panic buying
07:35
a relationship
07:36
coming out of this and what i hope for a
07:38
lot of people is that
07:39
we’ll all take the time to look at the
07:42
last year and say
07:44
what traits would have been really
07:47
really valuable in a relationship during
07:49
this time
07:50
teamwork patience
07:53
empathy understanding a
07:57
genuine ability to cooperate someone
08:00
accepting our flaws
08:01
us being accepting of somebody else’s
08:04
flaws
08:05
the ability to argue well to
08:08
disagree constructively so many
08:11
relationships
08:12
begin because of the shiny aspects
08:15
of a person or of a dynamic you know a
08:17
shiny aspect can be
08:18
just crazy chemistry or it can be a
08:21
person’s
08:22
charisma or it could be how good looking
08:24
they are
08:25
and what’s i find sort of fascinating
08:27
about
08:29
the early stages of dating and
08:31
relationships is that the person that we
08:33
show off to our friends
08:35
and our friends all get excited about
08:37
isn’t necessarily the same thing as the
08:39
person who would make a great partner
08:41
what we can do is look at the last year
08:44
and either from a meta perspective say
08:47
why did a lot of people break up
08:49
what was missing in their relationships
08:50
that they didn’t anticipate
08:52
when times were good and how will i not
08:55
make that mistake or on a micro
08:57
personal level we can look at it and go
09:00
what qualities would i have
09:01
really wanted to have in somebody during
09:03
this time
09:05
because it’s really easy when
09:08
life is moving at 100 miles an hour and
09:11
we’re distracted
09:12
by our work and how much stuff we have
09:15
to do in a day
09:16
and we’re only dating someone for one
09:18
night or two nights a week and they just
09:20
show us their most charismatic self
09:22
during that time it’s
09:23
really easy to make a decision about who
09:26
we spend time with long term and who we
09:28
have a relationship with
09:30
based on ultimately superficial
09:34
and unimportant characteristics
09:37
that don’t contribute to the happiness
09:40
of a relationship long term
09:41
let me know in the comments what are you
09:43
experiencing right now
09:45
i suppose post pandemic is a dangerous
09:48
thing to say
09:49
isn’t it sort of in this here in this
09:52
new
09:53
era of hoping for
09:56
uh an imminent end to everything that’s
09:59
been going on and
10:00
at the very least a loosening of the
10:02
restrictions where you live has it made
10:04
you more eager
10:05
to go out there and find a relationship
10:08
has it made you reassess
10:10
what you’re looking for and if so how
10:13
leave me a comment let me know i’m very
10:16
excited to read these i want to know
10:18
where are people at right now also
10:21
before you go
10:22
like this video subscribe to this
10:24
channel and
10:25
hit the bell so that you get reminded
10:28
when i have
10:28
a new video coming out i’ll see you next
10:31
week
10:48
you
—
This post was previously published on YouTube.
***
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The post What the Post-COVID Dating Boom Means for Your Love Life [Video] appeared first on The Good Men Project.